Struggling!!!

So I have been extremely hopeless! I went to group therapy this week and the group leader asked If I could see myself being ED'd free. I was like all on board with recovery and now I am giving up because I honestly do not see myself ever having a "healthy" relationship with food, so I do not see what I am really recovering and continuing to gain weight for! It just really really sucks! I am not fitting into my skinny jeans this week which is like a life crisis for me right now! I am still going to go to group therapy next week but as far as sticking to my meal plan I do not see it happening, my mind tells me I do not need that much food and not fitting into my skinny jeans just confirms that!