Hello Hello!!! :)

OK so I love the Beatles! I think most people do love them! They are the bees knees! I have been listening to them since i was 2 years old that I can remember anyways "Hello Goodbye" has been frantically playing in my head all day!!! OK so back to my point on posting! (The title of this post is because of that song! haha) Sorry got sidetracked SOOO I have only been posting a handful of times since I started this blog and that is because of 3 main reasons: 1) nobody is commenting so I feel kind of crazy just posting this when nobody is reading it and 2) I have never been good with diaries unless I'm counting calories (sad!i know) but that's why I havent been to consistent b/c this kind of feels like a diary right now... and 3) I have not been doing that great and I like to be more on the positive side like that saying my mom has always said since I was little: "If you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all!" Alrighty so those are my main reasons but I didn't make this blog just to show the great side of recovery! SO for that reason I will be posting at least once a week even If nobody reads this! This is a commitment I am making for the month of August so I will definitely stick to it!!! I am scared I am really relapsing and I am fighting that dark place like I was never in a good place throughout this whole attempted recovery but I was not completely involved in just the shitt place I feel I am slipping back into!!! Ughhh does not matter I will still be posting if anyone happens to read this and wants to see an old meal plan just comment bellow and I will for sure post it!! Sooo I survived 4th of July not in the best way I just drank myself into a frenzy but I hope next year I will be in the moment and conscience and not have to resort to being dazed and confused because of my ed food anxieties!!! The 16th I have a doctors appointment and I am so nervous for it!!! I wish the best to all of my invisible readers! I love you all!!! Will post very soon! XOXO